Obligations make me antsy

 Every time I get a text, I die a little inside. I got one from my kid's teacher (she's missed a lot of days), I just got one from the children's hospital about an upcoming visit, which reminds me I'm supposed to sign up for a parent teacher conference, I even got a text from a friend, "thinking of you" ugggghhh. They all make me feel like poo. Why can't I respond? Or plan for the future? Or work through problems? My book club did a poll for which day was better and I can't commit to either one! Whyyyy.

Maybe because I'm hungry? I just ate a tiny bit so we'll see if it helps. Maybe I'll have a little more and some coffee? I just... feel... terrible. I'm not doing well. Glad my friend is thinking of me and hoping I'm doing well....... but I'm not. I'm not doing well at all. One of my kids wants to make cookies today? She stayed  home from school so I'm like.... uhh. How about no. Cookies are fun and tasty and I haven't wanted to make them. (I did make golden brownies, did I post about that already? Whipped some up with my 6yo and I wish I could blame her, but I was trying to do the recipe from memory and only added about half the flour I think, so they turned out a little weird. But I still ate like half the pan.) 

Sometimes I think to myself, I guess everything can't be easy. Growth and all that. But right now it would be nice if SOMEthing was easy. Something besides playing video games. I've only been playing pressure wash simulator and 99 nights in the forest for a week or two now. Briefly considering Terraria... because technically I've done all I can do in pressure wash, except for the challenges which I'm kinda bad at. I started trying to get the achievements. Which are kind of dumb by the way - wash all the lanterns first, wash everything but the sole, finish a job 95% without fully cleaning anything. How do you even do that? I actually did do a few challenges, I was bad at the timed one but I got ok and the water usage ones. 

I should probably eat more than a soft taco. it was pretty good though. So chicken quesadilla? Or I guess I could eat some of that dang salad. A smoothie? Except that I'm already cold.... blah.