write my sorrows away

 Sometimes I can't tell anymore if I'm sad because of a chemical imbalance in my brain, or if this is a normal range of emotion. All I know is I feel bad for not even trying to wake up my 8yo to go to school after being absent for almost a week. And I should be getting my baby ready for school. And also I hate sending her to school because most days she leaves so early and then comes home so late. I HATE IT. I sort of want to let her take a device to play roblox on, or watch shorts, or whatever, because then I'd feel less guilty. I know they give her toys and she's doing a good job traveling, but it just seems so terrible to force a 5yo to commute for an hour+ each way every day. If I drove her it miiiight be only about 40 minutes each way - assuming evening traffic wasn't too terrible. Ugh. Anyway I was snuggling my sweet baby, who by the way is playing Talking Angela on my phone, watching youtube shorts on the tablet, and also has Kpop Demon Hunters playing on the TV. I was watching it haha while snuggling her, but she is the one who turned it on. 

Well I stopped snuggling her and went upstairs to find her some pants (I really need to laundry, and re-stock on lunch foods) and now I'm somewhat less sad, but I still feel kind of heavy. It helps, maybe, that "This is What It Sounds Like" is playing in the background. GOD I love that song. I still get a little shiver every time I hear "the song we couldn't write, this is what it sounds like." HEART EYES. (I'm feeling too lazy to do emojis, but I've become a true millennial and I love them.) I guess maybe I'm dreading getting her ready for school, letting her know even though she got a little break yesterday, it's back to the grind today. She'll probably love it. I love late arrival Wednesdays, though I do sort of wish it were early release so maybe she could beat traffic. It's nice though, not having to get her up at the break of dawn.

Gosh I realized I only have fifteen minutes to get her dressed and ready, WHOOPS, peace out homies