Ups and Downs for Days

 or UDDs for short. UDfDs? Nah, let's stick with UDDs. 

Yesterday my most anxious child faced a fear for the first time and came out on top! She's terrified of dogs and cats, pretty much any animal that might run at her and cause unknown harm. I'm not sure why, if she had a bad experience, I don't remember it. But we're going on a camping trip with friends and they wanted to bring their dog, so we asked anxious child and she agreed to meet the dog and see if she'd feel okay during a camping trip. She was excited for weeks, but we had to postpone and then the dog got overshadowed by a birthday of one of their kids, so I think my anxious kid kind of forgot she was meeting a dog, too. She was absolutely frozen when she heard the dog and the door opened. She consented to walk by as the dad sat and held the dog on the floor and he talked her into approaching and eventually letting him let go of the dog (he was making dinner for a large group and couldn't sit and hold the dog for very long). Anyway she was very very brave and clearly very scared and acted in spite of it and I'm so very proud of her and all the work she did. There was even an unexpected cat! And she felt relatively safe on the couch and then the cat disappeared for a while. 

My terrible sleeper, miss 5yo, fell asleep on the way home though. Which I might have been able to wake her and try and keep her entertained, but I thought after a restful car ride I'd be willing to stay up a little with her....... RIP. I ended up falling asleep on her bed and waking up around 1:50 to find her finally asleep, but then I couldn't go back to bed. I can't sleep in her bed - I have a CPAP because sleep apnea. It's not the life-threatening kind, but it is the not restful, snoring a lot kind. I did fall alseep around 5... oof. We woke up late, so now I'm trying to make peace with going to bed late on purpose. It's only 9:30 but she is RESISTING sleep. And a diaper change. Her bum is going to be so sore, poor kiddo. I mean, it's partially her fault, she hasn't wanted me to change her poopy diaper, but also I haven't pushed that hard until recently. I think she knows at this point its going to hurt, poor thing. 

So anyway I'm tired. Haven't been sleeping great for a few days now, thanks to the tiny person. And neither has husband, but he's more vocal about his annoyance, which makes me kind of triggered - gonna think about that actually, might be due to reminding me of ways my dad would sigh and huff when he was displeased. Very passive aggressive of my dad... maybe less passive though heh. Anyway I am tired and sad and my 5yo is pretty tired and easily sad, and... well maybe it's time to try putting her to bed again. Yaaaaay.