Kids are cute

 My little girls are SO cute. So DELIGHTFUL. I love being around these little people, even though they are often exhausting. They're just the best. 

It's interesting to observe the changes in me after changing my medication. I did dishes this morning (we were OUT out) and got pretty exhausted at the end. So I sat, and after a while decided I was going to get dressed. Then I decided to start a load of laundry (oh shoot I should put that in the dryer) and got tired near the end, but I rested a bit and impulsively made a frozen pizza for lunch. Unloaded the dishwasher - again, exhausted! (sounds like maybe I should slow my roll today, in retrospect) but after a bit of rest, I'm mostly okay. I mean, I guess I'm still in the process of resting through that one, but I'm also considering getting up to put laundry in the dryer, you know? Like instead of being exhausted and just giving up on hours of my day, I rest and I can actually pay attention to my family and recover and do other stuff. Not so long ago, I knew if I did a load of dishes and a load of laundry in the same day that I would be able to do very little else. Most days I simply wouldn't be able to do both. And I'm still considering making dinner! (Banana pancakes? I have a recipe for sesame chicken I want to try but it involves frying and I'm intimidated)

Anyway. I do still need to start actually doing the activities I'm looking forward to that make life feel worth living (watercolor paint/drawing and mini pottery, specifically, I have the supplies) - I'm having trouble getting off my phone. In fact, I felt a little sad earlier when I was kinda reading and decided to let the kids play on my phone.... that's not really how I want to feel when I don't have access to my phone for a brief period. But I was, and I guess I like to not shame myself for my feelings now, so I'll try and think about why I was sad and what I can do about it! 

It feels like my whole life is suddenly right in front of me. I like it. I LIKE living, the possibilities in the future. Last night there was a hiccup that managed to ruin my day, or at least put me in a funk. Fortunately since it doesn't happen as often anymore, my husband was in a position to solve my problems and while I still kind of stayed in a funk, it was more like... a protective cocoon. (Is that good? I can't tell right now. Silly therapist, not wanting to meet for a month.) I didn't feel good but I had space between me and the sad and it wasn't dragging me down, it was just uncomfortable. And I slept a ton and now I'm more or less better! 

Yeah maybe need to slow the productivity train down though 'cause my back hurts and I'm tired.

One of our friends from Utah texted yesterday asking if there was a time our kids could video call - her kiddo especially misses mine a lot and has been trying to arrange something for months. (Sorry friend! I'm trying to be better at responding!) They're talking now and it's just... so cute. I love that for them.