Feeling on the Edge

 I've been sleeping with a CPAP for about a week now (shoot! I need to wash it!!)  and I noticed yesterday and today that when I woke up, I actually felt awake. Not groggy and pulling myself out of sleep, but just like... awake. I'm still TIRED though, which I suppose might be the depression (sad face). 

So anyway I went to the store this morning - I had to swing by the pharmacy, I had my act together so I got a grocery pickup at Walmart before popping over to Costco for a few things, and by the time I was walking in to Costco I was TIRED. I had my tired face on, weak smiles for those I encountered. When I got to the checkout, the checker and the bagger(?) were bickering (in a friendly sort of way) and that made me smile. Which made me smile but almost made me feel more tired. 

Anyway my baby is home from preschool and we're having a fun time and she got all snuggled up to me when I sat down to write this post, but I still found myself wishing I had more energy to spend with my youngest - more energy to spend on each child. So I'm feeling almost content, like things are almost good and not quite bad and I'm at the edge of something, balancing, trying not to fall but I'm not entirely sure what might tip me either way. Hmph.