Looking Long Term

 So actually I want to think of a "what's saving my life" kind of post, but I want to research what others have done first before actually titling a post that. I JUST spoke with my therapist and she said something about what parts of myself do I want to make space for? What hopes do I have for my future? And we talked about how looking for little, every day things might help me find what sparks joy so I can do more of that, and plan for more of that in my life. 

We were also talking about me getting a job, since that's been something I've been thinking about for a long time, and part of my holdup is I need a resume. She mentioned there are templates now (there probably have been for a long time, but honestly I've never really needed a proper resume for any of my jobs, and I couldn't use a template for my writing class back when I last wrote a resume. So anyway as we were talking about it I realized - I'm sure there are resources now for moms trying to make a resume! Definitely someone has written about that, we've all struggled with it at some point. Wow! The thought of that just opened up a whole new world for me. So I wanted to write about it right away, even if this isn't the blog post I really want to write (which is little things that "save" my life or the parts of myself that I love). 

I was so worried because my last appointment, while nice, left me a little unsatisfied, because it was short. But I didn't think too hard about it this time (the length of it, that is), so it was fine and we talked about some good stuff. Also I almost cancelled because I was ashamed I'd let so much of everything fall down around me, but... like... that's depression I guess. Until she said it I'd literally forgotten that I used to look for things that sparked interest (I even saw a list the other day and it was frankly depressing at the time because it felt like a reflection of me that was better, so, it needs to be current haha) - I feel okay paying someone to remind me periodically to be happy. She's not testing me, it's not a job or something I NEED to get better at, I'm paying her to help and she's doing her best. Even if I might not actually be... doing?... my best... I'm definitely not my best self, that's why I'm in therapy! 

But I also talked about how I've been itching to make cinnamon rolls, but today's supposed to be kind of hot so I don't really want to be baking much... I probably could clean a little so I can actually make them tomorrow though! 

Okay time to go do something with this lovely energy that I have!