A is for Anxiety

 I have an embarrassing (to me) story: I was very anxious about a very little thing. Part of my anxiety was based on something more reasonable - an uncertainty with my toddler's preschool options for the upcoming school year. But the REST of my anxiety was because I thought maybe it would lessen my anxiety to email the assistant director about my concerns to see if we had a plan. Hah! WRONG! Suddenly I was VERY, EXCRUCIATINGLY anxious about whether I should have emailed him, maybe summer break wasn't an appropriate time, he's probably very busy helping other families with actual issues, and after I didn't hear back for a few days (and forgot to ask my DHH specialist about it when she visited, since I emailed her too about my concern), I thought maybe it was SO ridiculous that a parallel email I got from the school district secretary was the answer to my question.

Well, surprise! (Not really) I got an email back and it turns out my concern had ALREADY BEEN ADDRESSED in a meeting we had back in May. Oh Em Gee. 

(In my limited defense, it was a zoom meeting where I had to also juggle my toddler, who is pretty determined to grab my computer and watch herself in the camera whenever possible, so I was focused on not being too disruptive rather than having my full attention on the meeting. At least someone on the team took notes!) 

Now that I'm simply embarrassed instead of waiting anxiously for an email, I'm hoping I start to feel better. I've had a lot of anxiety tension, especially in my throat, the last few days. Pretty ridiculous but I didn't choose the anxiety life. That is also thanks to my toddler (at least, I don't remember having anxiety before giving birth to her, so I'm totally blaming pregnancy/postpartum hormonal changes - it is, after all, how I got depression, so it tracks). 

Deep breaths, some reading, some eating, and hopefully I'll be back to my regularly scheduled programming.