Oh Right I Have a Blog

 For weeks, maybe longer, I've been stressing about a sedated test for my 5 year old. I scheduled it first thing because when kids can't eat it's not good for anyone... except shortly after scheduling I realized that my 5-year-old rarely eats in the morning, AND she's not a morning person so basically I made future us miserable for nothing. Well not for nothing exactly, traffic is better early I guess.

Anyway I'd been so stressed about it, my husband offered to take her. It really has been a relief! My anxiety went down a lot. And we talked about it, but I tamped down any urges I had to make sure he was prepared, and he did what he needed to. 

But then he called with the results - her hearing is getting worse. Now, with hearing loss, it does NOT get better, but usually it doesn't get worse with her genetic condition. That's what I was told when we first found out and did testing to make sure it wasn't going to get worse. It's not supposed to. So he's all excited at the prospect of her getting cochlear implants (he really wants her to start talking) but I'm worried and mourning what hearing she has left. It's really hit me hard - like maybe as she got older it could get worse, but I thought that was like.... mid to late adulthood. I guess I didn't look too hard into it, because I was just dealing with the newness of her hearing loss in the first place. It feels like starting over again, and I've had like 4 hours of sleep (and not at the same time, of COURSE).